Larry is NOT happy
Larry is not happy after all, it has emerged.
Contrary to the popular expression ‘Happy as Larry’, this newspaper has discovered that Larry is actually deeply depressed.
We tracked Larry down to his bedsit in Great Yarmouth and soon established that he is not happy in any shape or form.
He is skint, has no job, his wife has left him and his children don’t visit.
Worst of all he is a Norwich City supporter and is desperately sad about the grim goings on at Carrow Road.
Public lexicon consultant James Vickers, from Blakeney, said: “We now need people to stop using the expression that he or she is ‘as happy as Larry’.
“Sadly this is an untruth after the real Larry came forward.
“Instead, it is more appropriate to the use the expression he or she is ‘as happy as a pig in shit’.”
Larry, 63, told the Norfolk Gazette: “I was happy once. And I was happy when people said they were as happy as me.
“But times change. Look at me now – I’m at my lowest ebb, but no one seems to care.”
Larry’s ex-wife, Louise, left him because he was a miserable sod, she confirmed.
“I used to laugh when people thought he was happy,” she said.